Of Memories and Death
by odestasocean
Summary: Set during Last of the Time Lords. When The Master dies in The Doctor's arms, a certain memory of them as kids flood his mind.


I had never thought of the possibility of another Time Lord being alive out of the time lock of Gallifrey, and I had certainly never thought it would be the Master, my old playmate. The one I used to run across fields and gaze at the stars with. The one I would tease and joke with. Until initiation, when he looked into the fire and was driven to insanity. And now he was back.

But just as quickly as he was returned to me, he was snatched away yet again. The sound of a gun rang through the air, and the Master staggered back, his knees buckling. My first instinct was to run over to him, and I laid him on the ground, grasping him in my arms. In that moment I didn't care about all the horrible things he had done in his lifetime; I only cared that he lived. There was someone else out there like me, and even if we had gone from friends to bitter enemies, I needed him.

"There you go. I've got you. I've you got." I couldn't quite comprehend what was going on, for it was something I never thought I would have to experience again. Only this time it was worse. The possibility of having someone was returned to me, and now it was slipping from my fingers.

"Always the women," The Master choked out, breathing heavily.

"I didn't see her."

"Dying in your arms. Happy now?" He spoke tauntingly.

"You're not dying," I persist. "Don't be stupid. It's only a bullet, just regenerate"

"No."

"One little bullet, come on."

"I guess you don't know me so well. I refuse."

"Regenerate, just regenerate. Please. Please! Just regenerate, come on," I must've sounded like a little kid, begging and pleading..

"And spend the rest of my life imprisoned with you?"

"But you've got to, come on. It can't end like this. You and me, all the things we've done. Axons. Remember the Axons? And the Daleks. We're the only two left. There's no one else. Regenerate!" I beseeched, tightening my grip around him. I could feel a few tears slip from my eyes and trail down my face as I stared at the Master, my breathing becoming more rapid as I struggled to not break down. It didn't work.

"Regenerate!" It came out harshly, everything I was feeling in the moment was put into that one word somehow. And I sat there, waiting for that gorgeous fiery mist to engulf the Master and bring him back to life, growing more anxious with every second.

"How about that? I win," the Master sneered. He began to make noises of discomfort and pain, and I see a noticeable difference in his tone of voice when he speaks next. "Will it stop, Doctor? The drumming? Will it stop?" he asked, a fearful expression taking over his face. And then his eyes closed and he died, right in my arms. I held him so he was snug to my chest, and began to rock back and forth, burying my head into his hair and sobbing.

A wave of emotions hit me at that point and time, and I could feel how truly alone I was. How much I wanted to look after the Master, to have someone to travel with that wasn't going to die or get left behind in some horrible circumstance, that was usually _my_ fault, was overwhelmingly large. I was so used to feeling guilty after losing a my companions, yet I kept running back to them. I was selfish and stupid, and it was only my own doing. I was the one who Time Locked Gallifrey. I was the reason that I was so alone. But I had no other choice; I couldn't let the Time Lords take over the universe. So in a way, the Master lying here dead in my arms is all my responsibility. My hearts ached and my stomach twisted into a knot that made me feel as if I needed to throw up.

"No!" I screamed, as though it would make it all better. I pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead, his nose, and finally his lips. His mouth is cold, but I let them linger there for a moment. I knew what I had to do next, and so I scooped him up, my arms secure under his knees and arms. I carried him a while until I found an area far off where I could lay him in a bed of sticks. I used my sonic screwdriver to set fire to a log before throwing it into the pile. The Master's body was quickly engulfed in flames; I couldn't stand to watch and turned away. Unwanted memories flooded my mind, one in particular playing out in my head. I was about five or six at the time, a few years before everything went wrong with The Master.

_It was late at night, and not having the need to sleep , I was up in my room doodling. Suddenly, I heard as soft tap on my window, so I got up to see what had caused it. When I got there, I noticed The Master pressed up against it with a bright smile, perched in the tree outside. He motioned for me to open it, so I quickly slid it up. _

_"Doctor, I wanna show you something!"_

_I had always possessed a sense of adventure, so it didn't even occur to me that I could get in trouble for sneaking out before I climbed out the window and closed it behind me, leaving a crack open for my return. The Master and I found our way down the tree and lowered ourselves to the ground. _

_"Whatcha wanna show me?" I asked, my head tilted to one side. _

_"Just follow me," he replied, leading me to the left. For a while we walked until we appeared at a large open field. _

"_Look up," he told me._

_As I looked at the sky, I noticed a plethora of swirling colors mixing together , bright stars, and constellations. My eyes grew large at the sight. _

_"I went out here to look at the constellations and came across this. Thought you'd like to see it."_

_"It's beautiful," I replied, lying down so I wouldn't have to strain my neck. _

_"Knew you'd think so. I could lay here all night. It's fascinating, really," The Master laid down next to me. _

_"I should've brought some stuff so we could stay out here. Mind if we run back quickly. I should leave a note too just in case. I'll get in less trouble if my parents know where I am." _

_So The Master and I ran back to my house quickly and I wriggled myself through the window. I scribbled down a quick note and left it on my bed. Then, I grabbed a blanket and some paper and crayons before leaving again. _

_"We can draw it," I explained as we walked back to the field. _

_And we did. The Master and I laid on our stomachs, filling the page with colorful swirls to match the sky. We ran across the fields and played tag; we pointed out all the constellations and tried to impress each other with our knowledge of astronomy. It was a night filled with laughter and smiles and everything best friends should be and do. _

_"You see, that one's Serge, it only comes out about this time of year," I pointed towards a cluster of stars. _

_After a while, we decided that it was time to get back home, so we said our goodbye's and parted ways. I climbed back inside my room and shut the window completely. I decided that even though I technically didn't need it, it was best to get a little rest and fuel up on energy, so I climbed into bed and let myself drift to sleep._

That night was always one that I remembered. It's just one of those childhood memories that stuck out to you, because it was important.

As I reentered the TARDIS I walked to my room and sat down on the bed, resting my head in my hands. Most people didn't understand my logic, why I would want some psychopathic killer to live, but they would never understand. You can't fathom what it's like to be that last of your kind, and I was - I _am_, desperate to have someone that I can keep. Someone that's not going to die or leave me. So that's why I was able to forgive him, and I won't regret it.

And he will always have a place in both my hearts, because I love him.


End file.
